Range of Death Doula services
I understand that every family may be at a different stage in the process, ranging from advance planning when everyone is still healthy, to more urgent needs resulting from a recent diagnosis.
That is why I tailor my services to your unique circumstances and requirements. The following list of items can be bundled to match your priorities and wishes.
Some things are best charged on an hourly basis to provide flexibility, while others can be quoted as a package if that is better for you. My free initial consultation will help define what’s best for you by exploring the relevant value and importance of each aspect of the end-of-life process. My hourly rates are based on the End of Life Doula Association of Canada’s fee structure of $45-$100/hour.
I am honoured to serve everyone, regardless of faith, gender identity or belief practice.
Advance Care Planning (ACP)
- Helping you demystify the health care system and explore end-of-life options, including things such as where the person would prefer to die: at home hospice care, eldercare facility, residential hospice, palliative care facility or hospital (sometimes as circumstances change, more than one is required).
- Helping ensure a Substitute Decision Maker (SDM) has been designated. This is the person who will make decisions if the patient cannot speak for themself. This is usually a close family member/or members. In some cases, the patient may appoint someone outside the family with Power of Attorney for Personal Care. Regardless, the SDM ensures that decisions reflect the patient’s wishes about when medical interventions should be used to extend life, or not, to help maintain dignity in the final days.
- Help to facilitate family meetings to ensure everyone knows what to expect and understands the importance of honouring the patient’s wishes so they can die with dignity on their own terms. This knowledge helps everyone transform their fears to feelings of calm, knowing that there are plans in place to provide comfort and love.
- Help the patient and family access the available resources to inform them about the end-of-life process and applicable regulations, including Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID). If requested, provide assistance with paperwork as well as referrals to subject matter experts for legal and financial matters.
Patient Support
- Provide opportunity to speak with someone outside the family who is compassionate, caring and eager to learn about the things which are important to them, including beliefs, values and priorities. My primary function is to be an advocate for your wishes.
- As appropriate, outline supplemental care options that are complementary to, and may reduce dependence on medical interventions (Reiki, therapeutic touch, acupuncture, lymphatic drainage massage, music therapy, etc.)
- Provide companionship for the patient at a time when they are most vulnerable and in need of support. This may include listening to their stories, reading favourite passages, talking about their hobbies and interests.
- While it is natural for humans to be self-critical, I will try to downplay such tendencies by encouraging recollections of significant events of life, proudest moments, best accomplishments, etc.
- Encourage reflection and introspection to reveal the ways their life has been satisfying and had meaning. Review the important things in life and how their experiences solidified beliefs or led to some being discarded. Recall successes and failures, explore how their life has impacted others, and when relevant provide encouragement for mending relationships.
- Summarize these findings and document them as a legacy which can be passed along to others in the form of a memory book, video, etc.
- Provide support to primary caregiver/s who may also be at their most vulnerable.
Planning the Last Days and Vigil Support
- This service may overlap with Advance Care Planning as it pertains to the location for the final days. First is the environment of the room, so the patient feels safe and comfortable. This may include configuration, outside view, lighting, sounds, aromas, photos, familiar objects, etc.
- It then extends to the patient’s wishes for visitors: who is welcome, how many at a time, sound level (lively laughter, normal speaking, soft voices). Also, protocols could cover: time of day, please call ahead, touching/hugging/kissing, cards/gifts/flowers, refreshments, preferred footwear, etc.
- I am available to provide vigil respite support for family caregivers who may need a break to refresh and recharge themselves after long sessions at the bedside. I’m available to assist in any ‘non-medical’ way including running errands, personal chores, etc.
- As the person dies, I may be asked to assist with the planning and execution of rituals to honour the passing and help to mark the transition from one reality to another. I am proud to provide support for all faith and non-faith traditions.
- I can also help to notify the funeral home, as well as other family and friends. This could be in the event that immediate family members feel too emotional to do so.
Help Conduct Funeral, Memorial or Death Celebration
- As a trained Death Doula and Funeral Celebrant, I can provide information on the requirements and services available such as: government regulations, organ donation, options for embalming, cremation and interment, green burials, scattering of cremated remains, and things the family can take care of themselves.
- I will continue to advocate for the desires of the loved one so that post death activities respectfully reflect their values and wishes.
- In my role as Funeral Officiant, I can help to plan, write and conduct personalized events to lovingly celebrate the life of the loved one. Such events are always based on information carefully gathered from family and friends.
- Help prepare death notices, contact venues, communicate with participants, help with eulogies and provide onsite support.
Grief Support
- A few weeks after death, when family activity levels out and normal life begins to return, reprocessing often sets in. That’s when it’s good to have flashbacks of stressful times replaced by memories of uplifting moments which are held top of mind. A doula who was there throughout the stages can help with that process.
- Guided imagery can be used to reinforce comforting memories and rebuild a sense of self with new purpose moving forward. This could be supported by work on legacy projects that celebrate the life of the loved one. Such activities can prove very helpful to the whole family.
Regardless of the services provided my role is to bring a compassionate calming presence knowing how end-of-life changes can lead to a person’s loss of identity, autonomy, functional ability and control, all of which have an impact on their emotional and psychological well-being.
And for the family, that same calming presence can help to bring a sense of normality to a process which is lovingly and undeniably a natural part of life.
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(conducted in person, by Zoom or phone)
I reside in Etobicoke and serve the Greater Toronto Area